There are a ton of resources on wedding etiquette for a traditional wedding. A destination wedding, on the other hand? Not so much. One of the questions I see frequently is whether you should have a bridal shower for your destination wedding. Some brides feel uncomfortable receiving gifts from people who won’t be joining them for the wedding. Other brides don’t plan on inviting many people to their wedding but have had friends or family insist on getting them a gift. Here are four things to consider when deciding whether to have a bridal shower for your destination wedding.
1. If you’re inviting them to the bridal shower, they should also get an invite to the destination wedding or stateside reception (if you’re having one).
This should be the golden rule of bridal showers for destination weddings. The biggest reason to follow this rule is that it’s considered in poor taste to invite someone to a bridal shower (where they will ultimately get you a gift) but not invite them to the celebration itself. I personally think it’s okay to invite them to the bridal shower and only the stateside reception (not the wedding itself) if you’re having a very small and intimate wedding. There are alternatives to this, though, which I touch on a little further down.
2. If you aren’t having a stateside reception, you should only invite those who are invited to the destination wedding.
This pretty much follows rule number one. If you’re only having a destination wedding and not planning on having any reception upon your return, you should really only invite those invited to the wedding to the bridal shower.
One big thing to consider is this: you may have a really good idea about who wouldn’t come to your destination wedding even if they were invited. For example, I knew my husband’s extended family would be upset if they didn’t get an invite to Mexico, but I was 95% sure none of them would come anyway. In that case, I invited them all to the bridal shower and to the destination wedding.
3. Debating whether you should have a bridal shower at all simply because you’re having a destination wedding?
Would you expect someone to skip a baby shower just because they decided to give birth in a different state or country? Just because you and your future husband have decided to have the wedding a little farther away doesn’t mean you don’t deserve all the perks of being newlyweds.
A bridal shower is meant to celebrate both families coming together and to gift the couple with items they need for their future life together, and I think any bride deserves that regardless of where they have their wedding.
If you’re still feeling guilty about being gifted items for your bridal shower, consider having one without gift-giving. You can invite whoever you’d like and let them know you don’t have a gift registry or aren’t expecting a gift. Sometimes a bridal shower is thrown by your mother or future mother-in-law just to get family and friends together. If that’s the case, you can still have them put this together for you—without feeling guilty about receiving gifts.
4. Having a very small/intimate destination wedding?
If you’re debating whether to have a bridal shower for your destination wedding because you’re planning a very small and intimate wedding, consider having a post-wedding “party.” Those who are close to you will understand that your wedding guest list is limited, but some people will still insist on giving you a gift. Examples of those people might include coworkers, extended family you aren’t close with, or friends of your parents. A post-wedding party could be a good option for those individuals—they can still bring a gift, but you won’t have the obligation or formality of hosting or planning a bridal shower.
It may also be a good idea to make it known that your destination wedding is very intimate. If you’re comfortable, post on social media that you and your fiancé have chosen to keep your wedding celebration very small. It may make you feel better knowing people don’t think they were intentionally left out.
Do you have more etiquette questions regarding your destination wedding?
Make sure to check out our other post, “All Your Destination Wedding Etiquette Questions Answered.”
